I have never lived with a woman who complained about me leaving the toilet seat up. It has never happened, despite the famous controversy about putting the seat down. I can also safely say that the women of America want the toilet seat up. If you’re a woman, you may not realize you want the seat up, however trust me you do. You see I work in a particular portion of the health care industry, where part of my job is to observe men urinate into a small plastic cup. I have to tell you this is not the most thrilling part of my job. However like we tell our clients, we drug test you because we care.
When I observe men place their specimen in the little plastic cup, I am shocked at how many do not lift the seat up in the restroom. I am also shocked at how many men have real bad aim. I mean really bad aim.
Seat Down + Bad Aim= “Ew Disgusting!”
When I was a little kid, my mother taught me how to lift the toilet seat up, and she was adamant that it got lifted up. Once again as mother raising three bears, she knew what she was doing. She was saving herself and my future wife a lifetime of misery.
Once again there is a bigger issue at work, the issue of courtesy. If I think only of myself, I am not much good to anyone else. The truth is that I am not much good to myself either. We need other people, because I know my brain will spin out of control unless I have someone else to ground me and bring me back to earth. When I don’t at least make an attempt to be courteous of other people, I am committing myself to a life of isolation and calling a volleyball, “Wilson.”
